Never Trust a Witch

                As humans we have this natural kindness in us that makes us try to help people in distress.  Whenever we see someone in distress or hear a person cry, the natural response is to help in some way.  Of course this quality does not exist in everyone.  There are always the puppy kicking, sand castle stomping demons in the world who revel in the pain of others, but I’m trying to be optimistic and think of those people as the minority.  In the game “Left 4 Dead” and its sequel “Left 4 Dead 2” there is a character that toys with that inherent quality of goodness and makes you need to be that puppy kicking hard ass.  Needless to say, the first time I met this creature I did not know that and my teammates failed to inform me.  The result was quick, terrifying death.

Meet the Witch.

                When wandering the confines of an abandoned subway station, I heard the distinct crying noise of a child.  Striving to be the hero and save someone’s life I searched for whatever lost soul needed assistance.  What I came upon was a curious sight.  Sitting behind a pillar was a tiny, pale looking girl in tattered clothing.  She looked as helpless as can be and her crying was echoing all throughout the abandoned subway station.  As I approached her I could tell something felt off, but I was unable to nail down exactly what was wrong.  The moment that my flashlight touched the child all hell broke loose and I knew exactly what I had done wrong.  I had startled a Witch.

This would have been a nice message to see before my stupidity.

                A glass shattering scream sprang forth from the Witch as she launched towards me.  Her eyes glowed with malice towards the man who had startled her.  Round after round, pierced her skin as she relentlessly pursued me.  I backpedaled as fast as I could, firing incessant shotgun rounds to keep her at bay but the Witch was far too fast to be outrun by me.  She ran past each of my teammates as though they were nonexistent.  When she reached me, she sank her claws deep into my skin and downed me helplessly on the ground.  I continued to fire pistol rounds into her from my downed position as she proceeded to maul me until my health bar was a figment of the past.  I had approached the most fearsome creature in the game as a stupid newcomer and had my bowels ripped from my body and forced down my throat.  I would not make that mistake again.

The Witch continues to maul anyone she downs.

                The next time I heard a Witch I knew the best plan was to avoid her, but my pride needed repairing.  A little, albeit crazily infected and lacking any thought other than to kill anyone who startles her, girl had murdered me without so much as a hassle.  Her cries just sounded like taunts to me.  I could not stand for this.  That happy optimistic human quality was smashed and all I wanted to do was kick a puppy or punch someone’s baby.  I took out a Molotov cocktail and set that Witch’s world ablaze.  Her screams were desperate now and her speed reduced by burning flesh.  I unloaded each round from a shotgun into her skull with deadly intent.  My teammates were past up by the Witch again, but this time I was glad.  She had made her death my personal vendetta and I wanted no one to steal the joy I would get by killing her.  Right before she reached me, one more bullet left the chamber of my shotgun and tore through the back of her head hitting that sweet spot that spelled instant demise.

Sweet, sweet revenge.

                As the body of the Witch dropped to the ground I proceeded to walk over to her body and do my best to desecrate it by dancing over it and emptying worthless handgun rounds into her corpse.  This seems like overkill but this wench had awakened a demon that lived by no one’s rules.  In this moment I was a living breathing hard ass who disrespects his elders, parks in handicap spots, and brings more than ten items to the ten items or less checkout line at Wal-mart, and I loved it.  “Left 4 Dead” taught me to never help crying children during the zombie apocalypse.  The rest of the game isn’t really scary at all.  It is fast-paced rapid fire action, but the Witch that pops up throughout the game is one of the most relentless monsters you will meet in a video game.  I will never trust people as I used to.  My optimism is broken.

                Have any experiences with a Witch worth mentioning?  Sound off in the comments section or let me know what you thought of my article.  Give @nevstorm5 a shout out on Twitter and tell me what you think of Gaming Moments That Made Me Pee My Pants so far.  Until next time, remember people, never trust a Witch.