This Ain't Your Friendly Neighborhood Lumberjack

                Over the many years that the Resident Evil franchise has been active the games have become widely known to have amazing monster designs.  The monsters that you encounter in a Resident Evil game will always be immensely grotesque and have the capability of inducing fear at the mere sight of them.  Some of these designs can be incredibly intricate while others shine in their simplicity; one such monster appears in Resident Evil 4 very early on.  His name is Dr. Salvador or, the more widely used term, the chainsaw guy.

An Iron Maiden. One of the best monsters in RE4.

                Early on in the game I came across a tiny village that wasn’t very inviting.  In the middle of the houses were the skewered, burning bodies of two police officers who had driven me out to the country side only moments before.  This sent up huge red flags and I knew the villagers were hostile.  Upon seeing me I was attacked by all manner of old folks wielding scythes, pitch forks, axes, basically all the farm tools you could think of.  No one was hard to kill and they all just seemed like fodder for my gun, until I entered a house.

So simple, yet so terrifying.

                Upon entering the largest house in the village, I was greeted with a cutscene of a man with a chain saw being summoned.  Picture a big ole stereotypical farm boy (suspenders, pants, boots, long sleeve shirt with rolled sleeves, every farm boy ever), but put a bloodied potato sack with eye holes over his head and you have the gist of it.  The potato sack makes him scary, but the chainsaw noise is absolutely terrifying.  It is a constant humming noise signifying his imminent approach that grows in volume the closer he gets and climaxes in a high pitched revving noise and yell from chainsaw guy himself before he brings it down upon a victim.  Needless to say, it is the epitome of a gaming moment that made me pee my pants.

I'd be lying if I said this never happened to me.

                The creators of Resident Evil 4 were definitely channeling old slasher films when they created the chainsaw guy.  Like the faceless horrors of Jason or Michael Myers, he is a foe that just won’t die.  It was like playing through the climactic chase of a slasher film.  Round after round of ammo riddled into his corpse but he just kept coming.  You might think a grenade could do the trick, but you’d still be wrong.  Two grenades to the face and he still chased me around the village with chainsaw raised above his head.  The first time I died from his chainsaw was a pitiful moment.  I squealed like a scared child as my head rolled on the ground.

Chainsaw guy leading the welcome party!

                Even when the chainsaw guy is killed, it is still fear inducing.  Unlike every other character, his body doesn’t disappear.  The chainsaw stays running and his corpse just stays there giving you that ominous feeling that he might get back up sometime soon.  The Dr. Salvador version of chainsaw guy shows up once, but it appears that he had some inbred siblings who love the same hobby of decapitating visitors because chainsaw people show up at least 4 more times in the game.  One of these times is a wonderful moment where two bloodied farm women brandishing chainsaws with bloodied bandages over their faces.  It is an absolutely horrible experience, but nothing compares to that first time.  Everything about the chainsaw guy is unsettling and that is why I find him to be the scariest monster in Resident Evil 4.

Below is a video of a man playing through that first scene and having close to the worst luck ever.  His commentary is a perfect fit for how I felt the first time I played through the game.  Enjoy!

S&M, Large Claws, and Resident Evil 4

              When talking about survival horror games, it is hard to keep the conversation from reverting back to Resident Evil.  We have just had too much time together for me to push her out of my memories.  She stole so many firsts from me, the most embarrassing being the first time I refused to play a game because I was too terrified.  It took me three years to finally nut up and virtually confront my fears, decapitating and exploding zombies as I went.  The catalyst for my new found bravery was a simple one: Resident Evil 4 was coming out soon.

The logo.

                Resident Evil 4 was released in 2005 and it featured a huge departure from the series’ traditional core mechanics.  No longer was I forced to navigate through cramped hallways with set camera angles and only three directions to aim.  Now the game had become a third person shooter where gunplay reigned supreme.  The over-the-shoulder camera angle when aiming became a revolutionary mechanic in gaming that practically every third person shooter since has adopted.  Foes could be targeted anywhere and would react differently depending upon the area they were shot.  With a more lethally capable player in control, the amount of enemies present drastically increased.  Onslaughts of infected villagers and deformed beasts attacked me mercilessly lending a far more fast-paced feel to the gameplay.

The wonderful pitchfork wielding town folk.

This feel of more action-oriented gameplay is where a great divide formed with long time Resident Evil fans.  They argued that the survival horror aspect of the game had died with Resident Evil 3 and that Resident Evil 4 was a pure action game.  The creepy nature of the game had been lost with the tank controls, narrow corridors, and set camera angles.  I do not believe I could disagree more with this thought.  Resident Evil 4 is still terrifying, just in its own unique way.  I could delve into the gameplay mechanics to explain myself, but instead I will simply direct attention to a monster present in the game, the Garrador.

Meet the Garrador.

“Man with claws,” that is what the term Garrador means and I don’t think a more literal name could have been picked.  The creature is a colossus of a man with almost three foot long claws and an odd outfit that seems to mix chains, a helmet, and perhaps black leather pants.  Yes, his attire sounds like the makings of some kinky S&M feature but sexual fetishes aside, this guy is scary bad news and my first encounter with him did not end kindly for me.

Lasik gone horribly wrong.

The first time I encountered a Garrador was in a prison dungeon deep within the confines of Ramon Salazar’s castle.  I entered the dungeon unaware that a monster laid dormant in one of the cells.  As I approached the cell, a brief shot was shown of the bound Garrador, specifically zooming in on what looked like his gouged out eyes.  When I kicked the door of the cell down to pull the ill placed lever the Garrador burst to life.

All he wants is a hug.

I tried unloading shotgun shells into its face, but it didn’t take long to notice that was not going to work.  All it did was infuriate him and cause him to embed the three foot long claws deep into my skull.  One face palm inducing “You are dead” screen later I was back in action.  I realized that he was blind and could not detect me unless I made noise.  I proceeded to move around behind him to which I was awarded with a sweet spot.  On the monster’s back was a parasite that I knew if fired upon would end his life.  I got the parasite in my sights and unloaded a well placed shotgun round into his back.  While the creature writhed in pain I let out a premature moment of joy that was immediately cut short by a charging Garrador who proceeded to decapitate me.  If my character could speak to me with his severed head, I’m sure he would have insulted my intelligence, my mother, and possibly my manhood.

A charging Garrador.  Look at those claws!

The next time I went into the fight with clear objectives and an understanding of my enemy.  It was a cake walk after dying two times previously.  All I did was walk silent circles around my foe, breaking my silence only to pepper the monster’s parasite with shotgun shells.  I was always on the move so as to not get caught with one of those claws in my skull once more.  After 4 or 5 rounds to the back, the Garrdor dropped and I did a little corpse desecrating victory dance on my to the dungeons exit.

This is just one of many monsters present in Resident Evil 4.  Maybe the encounter doesn’t sound terrifying as much as it does highlight my stupidity, but I assure you, the first encounter with a Garrador is not easily forgotten.  Being stalked by a blind giant who loves S&M and large claws is a scary moment.  I couldn’t run or make a noise without being bull rushed so it completely changed the gameplay style during the attack causing me to slow down and think.  There are so many different monster encounters in this game that force you outside of your comfort zone and each one of them is terrifying in their own way.  Resident Evil 4 is not where survival horror went to die; it is where survival horror evolved into something magnificent.

Never Trust a Witch

                As humans we have this natural kindness in us that makes us try to help people in distress.  Whenever we see someone in distress or hear a person cry, the natural response is to help in some way.  Of course this quality does not exist in everyone.  There are always the puppy kicking, sand castle stomping demons in the world who revel in the pain of others, but I’m trying to be optimistic and think of those people as the minority.  In the game “Left 4 Dead” and its sequel “Left 4 Dead 2” there is a character that toys with that inherent quality of goodness and makes you need to be that puppy kicking hard ass.  Needless to say, the first time I met this creature I did not know that and my teammates failed to inform me.  The result was quick, terrifying death.

Meet the Witch.

                When wandering the confines of an abandoned subway station, I heard the distinct crying noise of a child.  Striving to be the hero and save someone’s life I searched for whatever lost soul needed assistance.  What I came upon was a curious sight.  Sitting behind a pillar was a tiny, pale looking girl in tattered clothing.  She looked as helpless as can be and her crying was echoing all throughout the abandoned subway station.  As I approached her I could tell something felt off, but I was unable to nail down exactly what was wrong.  The moment that my flashlight touched the child all hell broke loose and I knew exactly what I had done wrong.  I had startled a Witch.

This would have been a nice message to see before my stupidity.

                A glass shattering scream sprang forth from the Witch as she launched towards me.  Her eyes glowed with malice towards the man who had startled her.  Round after round, pierced her skin as she relentlessly pursued me.  I backpedaled as fast as I could, firing incessant shotgun rounds to keep her at bay but the Witch was far too fast to be outrun by me.  She ran past each of my teammates as though they were nonexistent.  When she reached me, she sank her claws deep into my skin and downed me helplessly on the ground.  I continued to fire pistol rounds into her from my downed position as she proceeded to maul me until my health bar was a figment of the past.  I had approached the most fearsome creature in the game as a stupid newcomer and had my bowels ripped from my body and forced down my throat.  I would not make that mistake again.

The Witch continues to maul anyone she downs.

                The next time I heard a Witch I knew the best plan was to avoid her, but my pride needed repairing.  A little, albeit crazily infected and lacking any thought other than to kill anyone who startles her, girl had murdered me without so much as a hassle.  Her cries just sounded like taunts to me.  I could not stand for this.  That happy optimistic human quality was smashed and all I wanted to do was kick a puppy or punch someone’s baby.  I took out a Molotov cocktail and set that Witch’s world ablaze.  Her screams were desperate now and her speed reduced by burning flesh.  I unloaded each round from a shotgun into her skull with deadly intent.  My teammates were past up by the Witch again, but this time I was glad.  She had made her death my personal vendetta and I wanted no one to steal the joy I would get by killing her.  Right before she reached me, one more bullet left the chamber of my shotgun and tore through the back of her head hitting that sweet spot that spelled instant demise.

Sweet, sweet revenge.

                As the body of the Witch dropped to the ground I proceeded to walk over to her body and do my best to desecrate it by dancing over it and emptying worthless handgun rounds into her corpse.  This seems like overkill but this wench had awakened a demon that lived by no one’s rules.  In this moment I was a living breathing hard ass who disrespects his elders, parks in handicap spots, and brings more than ten items to the ten items or less checkout line at Wal-mart, and I loved it.  “Left 4 Dead” taught me to never help crying children during the zombie apocalypse.  The rest of the game isn’t really scary at all.  It is fast-paced rapid fire action, but the Witch that pops up throughout the game is one of the most relentless monsters you will meet in a video game.  I will never trust people as I used to.  My optimism is broken.

                Have any experiences with a Witch worth mentioning?  Sound off in the comments section or let me know what you thought of my article.  Give @nevstorm5 a shout out on Twitter and tell me what you think of Gaming Moments That Made Me Pee My Pants so far.  Until next time, remember people, never trust a Witch.

A Date with the Rasklapanje

                On October 2^nd “Resident Evil 6” was released as part of the long-running survival-horror franchise of the same name.  Ever since the game’s release I have been playing it constantly.  When looking back on the franchise’s roots, the game has changed so much from the tank controls and confined nature of the first.  I love the new action oriented direction of the franchise but there is a schism amongst fans that features a very adamant group who abhor it.  This group does not seem to understand that franchises have to adapt to stay fresh, so with a franchise that has been around as long as “Resident Evil” there is going to be a lot of changes.  Even with the abandonment of a straight survival-horror experience, “Resident Evil 6” had at least one sequence that had me at the edge of my seat.

Resident Evil 6 title screen.

                In Chapter 4 of Chris Redfield’s campaign I found myself searching the confines of an abandoned aircraft carrier off the coast of China with my partner Piers Nivans (or in the case of my human co-op partner, Will Browne).  Eventually we came upon a locked door requiring three keycards in order to grant us access.  Walking further down the hallway, we found the first key card next to a man lying in a pool of his own blood.  After picking up the card and turning to walk down the steps, we were greeted with a gruesome sight.

Let the Rasklapanje make out session begin!

                At the bottom of the steps was a Bio Organic Weapon called a Rasklapanje.  This BOW is a tall skinny looking creature with grey, glossy skin.  This creature was participating in what I have kindly denoted as a Rasklapanje make out session with a navy officer.  The navy officer was being straddled by the Rasklapanje as it proceeded to make out with his forehead not his face.  Blood sprayed everywhere while the creature’s huge tenacle tongue thing with razor sharp teeth burrowed through his forehead and ate his brain (further solidifying the brain eating stereotype of zombie-like monsters).  As the Rasklapanje finally finished and leaned up from his now ex-lover, it let out a high pitched screech that I could only take as a sigh of the utmost satisfaction and set its eyes on me and my partner.  To make matters even worse, apparently make out sessions with a Rasklapanje cause pregnancy even in males because the ex-lover began to convulse and a Rasklapanje burst forth from his abdomen.

"I just want to be loved!"

                Now after some investigating I found out that Rasklapanje is actually the Serbo-Croation word for “dismantling” or “to break apart.”  This became drastically clear when the two BOW’s attacked us.  One quick shotgun blast to the stomach and the first attacker was split at the midsection with his upper torso flopping onto the floor.  Any moment of success that we felt in this moment was immediately crushed as the torso and legs continued to approach us.  Repeated shotgun blasts later to both halves of the creatures caused them to turn an off white color and cease their attack, but they were far from dead.  They continued to let out grunting sounds and shake, almost as if they were just recharging.

The upper body of a Rasklapanje after it splits into two halves.

                The investigation for the keycards takes place in a mess hall area of the ship that forced us through confined blood spattered corridors with four of these creatures incessantly following us the whole time.  Like a real navy carrier ship there are a lot of rooms and hallways all in a confusing labyrinth style layout, so getting lost is a high possibility.  This happened to us or, more specifically, Will.  While I sprinted off in search of the keycard, he demanded the checking of every room available.  This forced us to be separated from each other in flashlight lit hallways while four unstoppable killing machines were stalking us.  To make matters even worse we were dangerously low on ammo.  The events that ensued were basically a lot of screaming and swearing as we ran around trying to find each other to no avail.  Finally I decided to wait in a room for Will to run past, but I was greeted instead by a Rasklapanje.

"My, what a big mouth you have, Rasklapanje."
"All the better to eat you with, my dear."

                The creature walked menacingly towards me in the glow of my flashlight and I could tell that he wanted to make me the father of another one of his twisted offspring.  I screamed and gripped the controller tighter in my hand as my palms began to sweat.  I had to run past him.  All I had was pistol ammo and it would take a ridiculous amount of that to stun him.  I prepped myself to sprint past, and as I took my first step the boat shifted so I was momentarily stunned as the creature lunged forward.  I let out a terrified prepubescent screech as the monster barely missed allowing me to run past.  Entering the hallway greeted me with the sight of another Rasklapanje stalking towards me, but I turned tail and ran the other way thankfully meeting up with Will in the process.  “Not your baby daddy today,” I yelled at the screen as we ran for the exit.  Unfortunately there was at least another ten minutes of us trying to find the exit as we ran from these monsters in the labyrinth of the mess hall.  When we eventually made it back to the keycard door we were completely exhausted and frantic to escape and end the chapter. 

Anyone who has not played “Resident Evil 6” is not allowed to say the game has no scary moments.  This tiny 20 minute stretch is one full of tension completely reminiscent of the old games.  The focus may be more on run and gun gameplay now but moments like this still pop-up in the game from time to time and I feel like the rarity makes them even more rewarding now.  “Resident Evil 6” is a great game and I look forward to playing it more and more in the days to come.

Have you played “Resident Evil 6” yet?  Did you find yourself wetting your pants at any moment in the game?  Let me know in the comments and give me a shout on Twitter if you enjoy what you’re reading so far.  I am @nevstorm5 and I constantly tweet about nerdy things for my own entertainment.  Until next time, folks!